25 Comments

I came here wanting to see someone sharing their love for Jason Molina, but I'm leaving eager to read what else you've written. This was fantastic. And Jason is also one of my favourite musical companions when I need to wallow or wade, he really does strike a raw chord of loneliness that I've very rarely heard matched to the same pitch by anyone else.

I'll have to restrain myself from listing his entire discography but Hold On Magnolia, Blue Factory Flame, Two Blue Lights, The Big Game is Every Night, Each Star Marks a Day, Pyramid Electric Co., Long Desert Train, Ring the Bell... so many songs of his keep me company when I need them to.

Also, while I agree that I have never met a good Phil in real life (that I can remember), I do have to give a mention to another musician who occupies a similar space for me, Phil Elverum (Mount Eerie/The Microphones). He and Jason are both big looming musical stars for me.

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Your comment made my day, thank you so much for reading and leaving such a lovely, thoughtful comment. I'm so happy to see Each Star Marks a Day get some love too, it's one of my favourites. The Molina and Johnson album kept me company on the train back from old job whenever I'd had a particularly harrowing shift, great album to cry on public transport to.

I can't believe I forgot Phil Elverum, whose music and substack (https://substack.com/@mounteerie) I love. There are exceptions to every rule I guess!

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I absolutely have to tell you that I'm in work and the bar we share the building with has just honest-to-god played Whip-Poor-Will by Jason Molina. And I've just read your post about Whip-Poor-Wills. Sitting here in disbelief.

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No problem at all, thank you for writing it! YES I adore that song. And I can imagine that Molina and Johnson album is a great companion for a post-shift cry. I think it's one of his most intimate albums (and I like Will Johnson's contributions too).

I tend to reach for the Pyramid Electric Co. album when I really want Jason to break my heart. As soon as he opens the title track singing:

"When the great pyramids

Dragged themselves out to this spot

A sickness sank into the little one's heart

Mama said son, that's just the cold

That's just the emptiness

It's being alone in the dark

You'll get used to it"

I'm right in that desert feeling that pyramidal ache.

Maybe Phil Elverum is the exception that proves the rule re: Phils, but I'm choosing to hope there's at least a few other good Phils out there somewhere, plowing the furrows of decency unacknowledged.

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Jun 6Liked by Sarah Crowder

this article hit different dawg. for a bird text, it's one of the most human things i've ever read

the ending reminds me of shore to shore...

"the graces called down the nightingale, my love

the ocean, my love, was not enough

the nightingale rose, but her song could not

and the graces called them all back home"

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I’ve got the chorus of Nervous Bride on repeat in my head now…”and it’s vaguely, goodbye…”

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Sarah, I am amazed to have come across this essay combining sad music, Jason Molina, symbolism of birds, addiction and depression here, not because they don’t belong together (they do), but because I share many these same feelings, experiences, associations and deep dives. I love these songs, which hold such beauty and dark power that they feel dangerous for anyone feeling that downward pull, those of a melancholic turn.

I wrote a post about Jason Molina’s music long ago on my old blog, about the time in 2009 when I had gone to see him play The Entry in Minneapolis, an intimate venue. I hung around after the show and tried to tell him what his music meant to me. He took my hand in the gentlest fashion and thanked me so kindly. I felt somehow seen on a soul level. So clear what a lovely, vulnerable person and open-hearted soul he was. Thank you for writing about this beautiful person and his art.

In case you want to read, http://wyldspell.blogspot.com/2012/11/set-my-pulse-to-midwests-pulse.html?m=0

“I think for some people they represent knowing the way while we’re all down here looking for a map.” Thank you for voicing this, I hadn’t consciously realized it but it is so true. Birds carry so much meaning for us on their bright wings, and this is one of their gifts to us.

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Thank you so much for sharing that with me Carmine, the blog post and the story of meeting him. I've just read your piece for the second time and I love it so much. "The prairie and empty highways throb like a pulse through this man's songs" is a killer line!

I'm so happy that writing this piece has meant I get to connect with other Jason Molina fans. I never got to see him live unfortunately, but I recently discovered he had been playing at a festival I went to in 2007 (before I had any idea who he was). The festival was right by the sea and I spent so much time swimming that I only ended up watching a few acts.

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May 9Liked by Sarah Crowder

You’re right – I didn’t need to read it. But I’m very glad I did.

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I'm glad I waited a few days to sit down and read this in full... I resonate with the 2 ways to soothe---humor and reassurance. Love the connection you draw between owls and mourning. Owls definitely have the otherworldly quality ....something to be revered.

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I never knew about the Japanese death poem, or ode to life. Amazing. And melancholy is very underrated.

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Ode to life is a perfect, and poetic, wag to describe Japanese death poems. I love it. I agree, melancholy is vastly underrated. Thank you for reading.

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May 1Liked by Sarah Crowder

Excellent piece, Sarah. Poignant, open, with healthy dashes of wit. It’s hard to pick a specific single aspect of it to comment on, but big picture it often made me think of a habit I call “basking”—just luxuriating in sad music and feeling things to their fullest extent. Thank you for writing and sharing.

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Thank you so much James and yes that's a great word for it! I spend a lot of time "basking", lately it's been Molina and the local nightingales whose sad music I've been having the big feelings to.

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May 1Liked by Sarah Crowder

You mention Spotify playlist names for sad music, many of mine are just variations of “Basking.” I will have to make a new one and have Molina feature more heavily. As for basking birdsong, it’s always the eastern screech owl for me.

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I love how much music features in your writing James, and I think I remember that you referenced one of my favourite artists (John Prine) in one piece. Here's one of my sad songs to feel better to playlists https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1ZprHwvfo0Rsh0NMQJUkIM?si=8029yiv5Sze7ZS7JBSOb5Q&pi=e-c7Qjb0J3Sre3

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May 2Liked by Sarah Crowder

Thank you so much for sharing your playlist, Sarah! Look at Miss Ohio is a staple, I sing “oh me oh my oh” as a version of sighing. I’m usually self conscious about featuring music in my writing, so am glad it is well received.

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You mentioned Leonard Cohen, who was born in Montreal, as I was. It matters if you want to understand his music. Your mother's boyfriend did not.

Cohen was a poet and a prophet of the human spirit.

People are sad, angry, despairing, loving, seeking love and hopeful. Cohen wrote about the full gamut of human emotions and experiences. One of my favourite Cohen songs is Bird on a Wire, released in 1969. I love birds and, coincidentally or not, I wrote a brief essay on why. It is posted today.

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I used to work touring with a band and when we toured north America Montreal was my favourite city. I hope to go back there one day. I couldn't agree more that "Cohen was a poet and a prophet of the human spirit".

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I also hope to return to Montreal; there is a reason Leonard Cohen kept a house in the city and returned frequently. I have an upcoming post on L.C. and Mtl. Are you at liberty to share the name of the band with whom you toured?

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Also re Montreal I saw a post about you moving from there to Toronto, how do you find it there? I wasn't a big fan of the city but it feels hardly fair to pass a judgment when I spent one day there. I know Leonard also lived in LA, I spent a lot of time there and always hoped I might bump into him.

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Your first impressions are right on the mark. If you have a chance to read my post, you will get my perceptions and my experience. Simply put, I do not like this city. Soulless. Cold.

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I just read your bird piece and loved it, so I wait to read your post about LC. I was lucky enough to see him live 3 times (and magically all for free!) and each time it was one of the best moments of my life. I'm also going to be writing more about Leonard Cohen this month in a piece about nightingales, although the focus will be more on Lorca (the poet, not Leonard's daughter). The band I toured with was Frank Turner and the sleeping souls, you should check then out if you're not familiar.

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Will check them out; love Lorca and Leonard's interpretation of him.

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I just watched a Youtube video of Frank Turner and the Sleeping Souls performing "Four Simple Words" at the Reading Festival in 2023. Lots of energy. He is a physical performer reminiscent of Bruce Springsteen, though the music is different. He gets the crowd going, a good performer who seems to enjoy what he does.

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